im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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