I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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