marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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