Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
