There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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