he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
