Buhtt sex?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
