then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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