For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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