I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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