so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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