well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
