The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
