I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
