turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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