I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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