I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
