oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
