glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
how drunk are you?
Several
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
