you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
