started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
