Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
