I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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