she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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