OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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