Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Randomize
