First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
