Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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