His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
