First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
