i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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