You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
