she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Randomize
