You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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