The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Randomize
