i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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