i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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