the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
