we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
