this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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