Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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