soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
