im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize