i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Randomize
