her vagine was all disorganized.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
