I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
