you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
