I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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