Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Randomize
