During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
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