carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
