why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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