a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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