the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
