goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize