i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
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