What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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