Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
they're like a gay fantastic four
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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