just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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