idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
