So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
