You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Drake has all the answers
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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