so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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