I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
