People in love make me want to vomit
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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