Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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