It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize