Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
