Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
