The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
