I need help removing her.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
