i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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