Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize