I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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