I heard we made out
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I think I am morally bankrupt
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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